The Hidden Stories of Young Malaysians, Sexual Harassment

By Choo Mei Qi

*Some names in the article are fictitious to protect the identities of the individuals mentioned.

In Malaysia, sexual harassment cases claim large spike over the past couple of years with a total of 40 cases between the start of the MCO, 2020 March 18 till RMCO, 2020 September 9.

Although it is no doubt that the public is gaining awareness in this topic, especially with the recent trending hashtag, #MakeSchoolASaferPlace. However, sexual harassment is often viewed as a workplace issue.

Al sharing his past experience – Image by Choo Mei Qi

Al, a 21-year-old male student, who is currently studying in a university in Taiwan shared his experience which happened when he was walking past the flat houses to the LRT station after school at the age of 13.

“He was a resident of the flat. Whenever we’re walking past the flat, he would make weird noises, whistle, or use a mirror to reflect the sunlight to make it shine to my eyes,” said Al.

“When I looked up, he would be standing at his balcony masturbating.”

According to Al, the same incident had occurred for four years. However, it did not have much effect on him, as he believes that it was because the harasser is also a male, and his friends were with him every time it happened.

Sexual harassment might not have a great impact on some, while others, it leaves a long-lasting scar.

Mic’s driving license which she got when she was 18 – Image by Mic

“It happened when I was 18, and I was trying to get my driving license,” said Mic, a 21-year-old female victim of sexual harassment.

“He was my driving instructor,” she said. “Throughout the 10 lessons, he would hold my hands, pat my head, touch my ears, and give me nicknames,” explained Mic.

Mic has not driven ever since she got her driving license, saying, “Sitting on the driver’s seat brings back memories.”

It might happen to those around us

Lim revealing his experience as a witness – Image by Choo Mei Qi

Lim, 21, a male student of Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman (UTAR) said that he has seen it happening to his friend while they were working as part-time promoters.

According to Lim, his friend was promoting the sample to the customer. “My friend would keep a distance from him, but he would stick closer to her,” said Lim.

Eli(left) with her daughter (right) – Image by Eli

Eli, 53, a mother of a 21-year-old sexual harassment victim also shared the experience which her daughter had gone through.

“My daughter told me her experience seven years after it had happened,” said Eli.

“We were eating in a mamak store when she was just 11, when a waiter slides his hand from the top till the bottom of her back,” she explained. “I didn’t even realize when she was sitting right next to me.”

Despite after so many years, she would still constantly look over her shoulder whenever she is in a restaurant, afraid that someone would approach her again.

Victims not lodging a grievance are common

Chong mentioned that victims might remain silent due to fear – Image by Choo Mei Qi

“Sometimes people around us might be exposed to sexual harassment, but they don’t have the courage to tell others,” said Chong Wei Ling, a 21-year-old female student of UTAR.

Despite the skyrocketing cases of sexual harassment, only 53% were reported or heard. The feeling of embarrassment is the biggest reason victims conceal their experience. While friends are often the go-to for many who choose to voice out.

2 out of 2 of the victims interviewed were reported to have told the incident to their friends.

“I told my friends,” said Mic. “But some of them don’t believe what I’ve said, while others would ask me to stay low,” she added.

According to Al, he had told his friends about his experience. “I didn’t inform the teachers or my parents.” Al explained that it was because the incident did not bother him much.

Eli also mentioned that her daughter had told her friends years before she herself knew about it. “She didn’t want to worry me,” added Eli.

As for Lim’s friend, she had remained silent as the harasser was her customer. “We cannot offend him,” said Lim.

Malaysian culture leading to victims being silent

Although we are living in the 21st century, Malaysians, especially females are still facing challenges of gender inequality. This often led to both males and females choosing to keep their experiences obscured.

Mic thinks so. “Malaysia is a traditional and closed-minded country,” said Mic.

According to her, females experiencing sexual harassment would remain silent, due to the fear of being humiliated, scolded, or not being believed.

“They would perceive that nobody would help them or stand with them,” she said.

While in Al’s opinion, Malaysia being a country whose official religion is Islam has influenced the victims to keep their experience to themselves.

“People here in Taiwan are braver when it comes to speaking up,” said Al.

As for Eli, she thinks that Malaysians have a culture of being silent. “Victims might be afraid that they would be despised by others if they revealed their experiences,” she said

As the saying goes, when the whole world is silent, even one voice becomes powerful. Fear and silence have allowed sexual harassment in Malaysia to flourish. Thus, it is important to speak up for others, speak up for yourself, as well as the ones in the future.